Ho! Ho! Ho!

PARMA, Ohio – Police near Cleveland say a man dressed as Santa Claus tried to kidnap a 12-year-old girl walking to school.
Anthony Russo was later arrested wearing the Santa suit, complete with pillow and beard, and carrying a sack, a large box of candy canes and a unicycle with Christmas decorations.
Parma Police Capt. Robert DeSimone says the 46-year-old Russo, of Brook Park, is jailed pending charges expected to be filed Thursday.
DeSimone says Russo was hiding in bushes Wednesday in costume and jumped out at the girl. He says Russo tried to get the girl into the bushes, but she walked away. DeSimone says the man followed the girl and grabbed her arm before she entered a store and reported the encounter to a worker.
Police say Russo was arrested on a transit bus.

Okay, lets just ignore the fact this guy dressed as Santa, hid in the bushes, and tried to kid nap a girl. What I want to focus on instead is the fact that this guy was fucking riding around on a unicycle. This man tried to kidnap someone on a unicycle. How the fuck is that supposed to work? Where was he going to put her after he completed the kidnapping? His lap? The Sack? If this girl did in fact get kidnapped, I would not be upset, just really impressed that someone kidnapped someone else on a unicycle.

Merry Christmas!

Tis the Season ONLY of Buckle-Hat People

So for some reason, and I have absolutely no idea what made me think of this, every year I'm reminded that some people try to jump the gun and start talking about Christmas when it's inappropriately early for the subject. Now don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. It is my favorite holiday of the year, and I look forward to it several times throughout the year.

(Now I know what question you're throwing around inside of that noggin of yours: "Didn't you just admit to commiting the very act you hate?" And the answer is no, because I merely think about it but never act on it. You may think about a certain opinion of a person and the things you may want to do to said person, but more times than not you will keep these thoughts at bay. Same thing goin on here.)

I, unlike so many, do not feel the need to celebrate Christmas particularly early. A few years ago, my friends and I made an agreement: no talk of Christmas until after Thanksgiving. No songs, no red & green, nothing. I've heard of people making similar agreements. Now that ABC Family has launched the "Countdown to the 25 days of Christmas," I feel that action needs to be taken on a much larger scale. They're counting down to a countdown! That's about as necessary as an Anne Frank joke on Yom Kippur.

Please give the pilgrim people their props. They actually got an entire species of people to celebrate their imminent demise. Agree with it or not, that's balsy. Give thanks, and please leave Christmas out of the discussion until Nov. 27.