Monday, November 30, 2009

Intro to Microbiology LiveBlog.

-although this is already on my blog, I'm going to throw it on here because I've yet to write anything. thanks. (I'll step my game up once finals is over)


5:01 PM- The annoying, smarty pants girl Ruth is talking to Professor Kardys, AGAIN. She is always talking to him before class and she is also always wearing a blue fleece vest with tight sweatpants, EW. "Okay, let's start class."- Professor Kardys. she finally sits down.

5:02 PM- roll call. Approximately 15 girls aren’t here. And because it’s a nursing class, there are only 2 boys and about 30 girls in the class. He's handing out our graded exams- get pummmmppped.

5:03 PM- 82- YES!

5:04 PM- He's chewing gum, again. In EVERY class he chews gum, but it's not cool. I'm actually affraid to ask him questions after class because white shit gathers in the corners of his lips. EW.

5:05 PM- "I just want to get an idea, how many people are actually taking notes during this class?" -Professor Kardys. 2 people raise their hands (out of 25)... "Okay.. let's begin".

5:08 PM- He keeps staring at me so I look up at the powerpoint and pretend to be taking down the notes in a word document. (a specialty of mine).

5:09 PM- He takes a drink of water from his thermos, hopefully to remove the white slime on his mouth.

5:10 PM- We've covered one slide about pathogens and keeps asking "Does anyone need more time?", no answer.

5:11 PM- Kardys is staring at the powerpoint... and is still not acknowledging this one girl who has had her hand raised for about 2 minutes. We're not in kindergarten sweetie if you need to use the bathroom, just get up.

5:12 PM- "Does anyone need more time?"- Kardys

5:13 PM- 15 girls have their computers. 8 are on facebook, 3 are on blackboard (not for this class), 1 is playing a motorcycle game, 1 is farming, 1 is studying notes for another class, and 1 is actually taking notes.

5:15 PM- Kardys just reached up to fix the projector and his briefs just popped out, disgusting.

5:17 PM- this class sucks.

5:18 PM- Kardys just said vagina, YES!, now I will take some notes.

5:20 PM- Why do I smell raw eggs? This is a lecture classroom, no one should be smelling raw eggs. I'm scared.

5:22 PM- The lights are now on in the classroom to copy stuff off the board... not one person is even looking at it.

5:23 PM- I ask myself- if this man wants to teach us anything, then why is he just reading right off the powerpoint, that we already have on our computers. Stupid, I should just get up there and teach.

5:24 PM- Some girl just strolled into class with a coffee and a sandwich. Bitch you're 24 minutes late, who do you think you are?

5:25 PM- All 15 girl are now on facebook, (not counting me).

5:26 PM- Ruth is now staring at Kardys and nodding. Yuck, stop it. I hate people.

5:28 PM- I just noticed how funny Kardys' hair is today. I just giggled a little and 5 girls turned around and stared at me. WHAT! It's not like I interupted your note taking!

5:29 PM- If one more person coughs I swear to God.

5:30 PM- Someone decides to go to the bathroom, a conversation is taking place in the back corner about going to the liquor store, and the girl in front of me is taking a nap.

5:31 PM- Lights are back on for more notes... everyone is still on facebook.

5:32 PM- Ruth asks a question and everyone is whispering to their friends how annoying she is.

5:33 PM- Kardys' voice is just like Forrest Gump's. strange.

5:34 PM- 4 people are texting... and the girl who went to the bathroom, still isn't back.

5:36 PM- the girl next to me has long fake nails, she also has a Mac, the sound of her typing- is OBNOXIOUS.

5:37 PM- Bathroom girl arrives!

5:38 PM- Someone else decides to take a stroll to the bathroom.

5:39 PM- The boy sitting 2 rows up is playing with the lever on his chair.

5:40 PM- He pulled the one that lowers you, HAHAHAHAHAHA he just slammed the seat all the way down to the floor. loser.

5:41 PM- The girl the row diagonally has been shuffling around in her bag for about 5 minutes now looking for something.

5:42 PM- OH, just her credit card to purchase some Juicy Couture flats online. I hate rich bitches.

5:43 PM- Awkward (turtle) silene... minus fingers typing.

5:44 PM- We've already learned about phagocytosis 30 times, why on earth is it going to the topic of our final? whatever.

5:45 PM- Facebook count- 10.

5:46 PM- Ruth just blew her nose. And yes, she's one of the people who blow their nose and then look at the tissue afterwards. gross.

5:47 PM- "Does anyone need more time?"

5:49 PM- My stomach just growled loudly because I'm hungry. The girl next to me turned and stares at my stomach.

5:50 PM- The girl in front of me is packing her backpack and closing her computer. Did I miss something?

5:51 PM- Nope, didn't miss anything... she just decided to leave. Lucky.

5:52 PM- Never Let Monkeys Eat Bananas - Neutrophils, Lymphocytes, Monocytes, Eocinophils, Basophils. I love acronyms.

5:55 PM- Random Things in plain sight (thanks mike)
Peanut butter
turtle skeleton
about 17 blackberrys
fish tank
corn meal

5:57 PM- "Does anyone need more time?" Kardys, your entire class is in the middle of a facebook frenzy, they don't have time for notes.

6:00 PM- text from Mike: "Just made my cousin cry in Mariotennis, Kids soft" ... asshole.

6:01 PM- 14 MINUTES TIL FREEDOM.

6:02 PM- one girl is braiding her hair, I'm intrigued.

6:03 PM- this coughing thing has gone beyond annoying. Maybe if more than half of the SHU population didn't smoke, we wouldn't have this problem. (NEWSFLASH- cigarettes kill.)

6:05 PM- LAST SLIDE. class is almost over. Everyone's still on facebook and the only thing I remember from this class is the word- vagina. success!

Sunday, November 29, 2009

A Very Early Oscar Preview.

The weather is getting colder. This means one thing, Oscar Season has arrived. Much has been made about two big changes to the 2010 Academy Awards. The first change is that it has moved back in the calendar, to March 7th, 2010. The second (and more peculiar) change is that there will be 10 nominees for Best Picture, rather than the usual 5. Several already released films have gotten plenty of buzz, as have several films that haven't been released yet. For your convenience I have broken down my predictions into 3 groups, Locks, Probables, and Dark Horse Candidates. Obviously, these are just guesses and I would not be surprised if I am way off. As William Goldman once said of Hollywood, "Nobody Knows Anything." So, with that in mind, lets do this. First, the locks:

Locks
- Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire
- Up
-Avatar

These three very different films are my three locks for nomination for very different reasons. There are some experts who are saying Precious is the best acted film of the year. Oscar worthy performances are turned in by Mo'Nique (not kidding), Mariah Carey (still not kidding), and newcomer Gabourey Sidibe. The movie did surprisingly well at the box office and was pushed (no pun intended) by both Oprah and Tyler Perry (those two together are the equivalent of eleventeen Barack Obamas).

Up is an interesting case. If it is in the category for Best Picture, does that mean it automatically wins Best Animated? That point aside, Up is most definitely going to be nominated but will have a tough time winning. No animated feature has ever won, and only one other, Beauty and the Beast in 1991, has ever been nominated for best picture. One could definitely argue that animated films will benefit the most from the expansion of the number of nominated films.

Avatar, James Cameron's $300 million dollar movie, is the third and final film that I consider to be a lock for Best Picture. Since it has not been released yet, and the previews are not revealing much it is leaving the general public in a state of confusion. However, it did cost $300 million dollars to make and it is James Cameron, that is enough for me to believe it will be there.


Probables

-Up In The Air
-A Serious Man
-The Lovely Bones
-Invictus
-Inglorious Basterds
-An Education
-The Hurt Locker

This category has a ton of big names, which could lead to big buzz.
Up In The Air has George Clooney and everyone's new favorite director Jason Reitman.
A Serious Man has the Coen Brothers.
The Lovely Bones is a Peter Jackson film.
Invictus is Eastwood+Damon+Freeman.
And of course Inglorious Basterds has Tarantino and Pitt (although Christoph Waltz is the best part of the movie).
The more intriguing films are the two that lack star power. First we will look at An Education.
An Education is a movie that nobody will talk about much in the mainstream media, but will certainly garner a lot of attention when it comes time for the Oscars. The movie left people amazed at both The Sundance and Toronto Film Festivals.
The Hurt Locker is the movie that should have had the most impact of any release this summer due to the fact that it is a movie about a few soldiers in Iraq. However, the best part of the movie is that it did not inspire any political rhetoric what so ever. Director Kathryn Bigelow (Point Break) did not make the movie about the war, no she made the movie about war and about the people in war. The movie was nearly perfect, save for one random, gratuitous scene.

Dark Horse Candidates
-500 Days of Summer
-The Road
-Public Enemies
-Nine

I picked these four movies either because I really liked them or because I have not heard much about them other than that they are supposed to be very well made, well acted films. In the case of both Public Enemies and 500 Days of Summer, I picked them because these are two of the better movies I saw thus far this year. 500 Days was a breath of fresh air for Romantic Comedy fans. Public Enemies was just a well made movies. It captured the feeling of the time, and made you fall in love with a murderous villain. The Road and Nine, on the other hand are supposed to be very, very good movies. Much is being made about Viggo Mortensen's performance in The Road. It is another Cormac McCarthy novel being adapted, as was No Country for Old Men, the winner in 2007. Nine is a Rob Marshall film. Why is that important? It isn't really except for the fact that he is rumored to be directing the fourth installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. Also, Daniel Day-Lewis stars in Nine. Which means that no matter what, it will get a lot of buzz.

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Twas The Night Before Thanksgiving.

I find it very peculiar how the night before Thanksgiving has developed into this uber-reunion type holiday. I understand this is the only holiday that everyone in America celebrates. I get it. Everyone wants to bask in the glory of completely wiping out a race of people. But these days, people look forward to the night before Thanksgiving more than the actual holiday itself. Okay, we get it, you haven't seen your friends in a few weeks because of work or school or whatever. That is all well and good, but it is where I draw the line. As a college student I love seeing my friends from home, but I don't care about seeing kids I hate from high school and having them pretend like I was their pal. I had several kids come up to me tonight and try to talk to me about how my life has been since high school. Oh, so now you want to know how my life has been? How about the four fucking years we spent in the same building you prick. Why didn't you care then? Was I not cool enough to talk to then? Now that nostalgia plays a role you actually want to talk to me? It is so sad that people actually think that they are doing other people a favor by saying "Hey." In a public environment. I am glad that this night is over and that I don't have to see any of the kids I hated in high school for another year.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 23, 2009

We are men...sort of

This post is going to be something of a confession and will leave me open to all kinds of shots at my manhood, but I feel it prudent to voice to the members and readers of The Common Room. This past Saturday morning I woke up early enough that I could flip through the channels before college football came on. College gameday was on, but unfortunately since there have been no good matchups since Halloween when USC were manhandled by Oregon and Texas won big at Oklahoma State, I really didnt want to see anything other than when Lee Corso made his choice of mascot head. This left me to flip through movies that were on. I always look to the deadly combination of TBS, TNT, USA, and FX first. Yes these channels do have commercials, but they often have some golden oldies on. What could possibly make someone's day better than a morning screening of Big Daddy or Tommy Boy? The selection on this particular morning was rather grim. One movie though, put me at a moral crossroads. There are a number of movies out there that I have trouble admitting that I like around male peers for fear of reprisal. It is one of those movies that you are flipping through the channels with a friend and this kind of movie comes on and you both look at one another and although neither of you will openly admit you want to watch it you come up with a lame excuse like "Well nothing else is on", "The remote is too far away", or relinquish the remote and tell your friend "You can change it if you want to." It is the type of movie that if you are watching alone with other people in your home you keep the remote handy so you can change the channel, so you dont have to withstand the bullyings of your mother or sister. All that said there is very little that is more gratifying than when you find out that a friend of yours enjoys the same type of movie because you can put up a united front against bullies such as your mother, sister, or sister's friends. The movie I chose to watch, and I am now proud to say I enjoy was 13 going on 30, a gem of a movie starring Mark Ruffalo as he uses his natural sage to guide former best friend Jennifer Garner back to her roots.

P.S. On a more masculine note make sure to check out the trailers for the new Scorcese movie that Ruffalo costars in alongside Leonardo DiCaprio, Shutter Island.

Why Christian Bale's Life Sucks.


Honestly, it probably rocks. But I do believe he must be a frustrated individual, as is evidenced by his outburst on the set of Terminator Salvation, for he is a good actor but he gets out-acted in every movie. So without further ado, here is the Christian Bale Scale.


Movie: Newsies
Bale's Role: Jack 'Cowboy' Kelly
Out-Actor: Dean Portman
Verdict: Bale is pretty awesome in Newsies. But Dean Portman is a bash brother. Sorry Chris.

Movie: Pocahontas
Bale's Role: Thomas, the englishman who kills that indian who likes Pocahontas
Out-Actor: The Fuhrer Himself, Mel Gibson
Verdict: This was a tough call but Adolf, er, Mel does a good job singing all those songs.

Movie: Shaft
Bale's Role: Walter Wade Jr.
Out-Actor: Samuel L. Jackson
Verdict: No explanation necessary, "L" has Bale by leaps and bounds in both life and on set.

Movie: Batman Begins
Bale's Role: Batman
Out-Actor: Michael Caine and Gary Oldman
Verdict: This one was the closest one. Bale does a real good job in this movie. However, Oldman and Caine do a better job in this underrated film.

Movie: The New World
NOTE- This movie sucked. It could possibly be the worst movie I have ever seen. It made Big Fat Liar look like an Oscar winner.

Movie: 3:10 To Yuma
Bale's Role: Dan Evans
Out-Actor: Russell Crowe
Verdict: Gritty, gutty Western. The two main characters are cowboys and both are portrayed by foreigners. Oddly enough, they both sell it, Crowe wins on sheer guts.

Movie: The Dark Knight
Bale's Role: Batman
Out-Actor: Heath Ledger, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart
Verdict: Everyone made such a big deal about the job Heath Ledger did as the joker, that people sometimes forget how good the rest of the cast was. Bale was the sixth best actor in this movie and he still did a great job.

Movie: Public Enemies
Bale's Role: Melvin Purvis
Out-Actor: Johnny Depp
Verdict: This one was not even close. Johnny Depp kills it in Public Enemies.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Playdates: A Nostalgic Trip Back To My Younger Years.

I loved play dates. Loved 'em. Everything about them to me was so innocent and wonderful. However one play date in my long history of play dates reigns supreme over the rest. It was a nice Spring day in 3rd grade and it was gym time. After a nice round of Tom and Jerry me and two friends slaked our thirst at the water fountain. While on line, a girl came behind me on line. She complemented me on my play and we went our separate ways. When gym was over we met up again. She asked me if I wanted to play kickball on her team at recess (the modern day equivalent of an absolute smoke show asking for my number at a bar or something, maybe I peaked at a very early age). Obviously I acquiesce her request and play kick ball. Now my memory is a little fuzzy here but I was a force at kick ball. I used to put on more clinics than a Baptist Church in Inner City Detroit. So, with that in mind my stats were probably something like this: 6 for 6 with 4 home runs, a triple, and a double. Most likely I drove in somewhere between 18-22 runs. In the field I probably put on a show as well, but we don't need to get mixed up in stats really. So anyways, after I went bonkers in kick ball me and this fine young lady got to talking. She told me that we should set up a play date after school. We decided it would be a good idea and that we would go home and then set it up. So, when the day ended and I went home I immediately asked my mom to call this girl's mom and see if we could have a play date. My mother played wingman for me and got out the PTA phonebook and gave this girl's mom a ring. When the conversation ended I looked at my mom with eager eyes and she told me that this girl was going to come over for a play date. Well to make a long story short this girl and I had a wonderful play date, played some soccer in the yard, watched some full house, probably ate some pizza bagels, and sent her on her merry way. Needless to say, this girl developed into one of the hotter girls in my neighborhood and soon enough she stopped recognizing my existence. Girls suck. But anyways, the reason I bring this up is I saw someone mention play dates on my Facebook news feed today, it made me think of how great they were. One mom calls another and sets up a play date with someone who you won't be friends with in a couple of weeks, most likely because they won't share their new Tonka Truck with you. Nowadays, kids don't need to do any work to have a play date. They just text their buddies from their Blackberry and boom, its done. Back when the days were good, we had to work for our play dates. I guess thats what made them that much sweeter.

Hipster Bullshit.

http://nyc.barstoolsports.com/random-thoughts/hipster-douches-devastated-that-williamsburg-pool-parties-may-be-cancelled/


I'm going to start off saying that I do not read Barstool. I did not even know such a website existed until about a month and a half ago. I was told about the article posted above, so I figured I'd check it out. Well let me tell you Mr. "KFC" (the author), you suck. Fuck you. Now that's out of the way, I'd like to discuss why KFC and that blog suck. First of all bro, just because Jack Johnson and OAR, your brogods, won't play in a park for free doesn't mean the concerts are bad. Who doesn't like free music? Free live music? Shit man, its free live music OUTDOORS?! What's better than seeing a free show outside on a beautiful summer day? Not much. Even Senator Chuck Schumer is backing up the hipsters claiming that "the concerts would be back on the waterfront in 2010." So basically, this guy is shitting on probably one of the coolest summer events in the city just because he doesn't know any of the bands that are playing and because he hates "hipsters". "I dunno I've never heard shit about Pool Parties..." everyone knows if he did know about it, he would in fact have probably gone and had a ball if he wasn't such an ignorant prick. Between Dirty Projectors, Grizzly Bear, Girl Talk, Fucked Up and Deerhunter all playing this past summer, how can anyone complain about such a diverse musical lineup. Sorry, but just because the people in those bands are long haired, bearded men who wear slim fitting jeans and t-shirts, does not mean they're "douches". This guy probably sat at his computer and wrote this article sitting in his uggs with his northface zippered up and his lacrosse stick in hand. People like that shouldn't be allowed to post things on the internet.

8th Wonder of the World? Vending Machines

Vending machines man. Vending machines. The things vending machines put a man through are almost unexplainable. That’s why I come to this blog once again, to give my meek attempt at explaining one of the world’s greatest inventions.

There is a lot that goes into a trip to the local vending machine. First you must prepare yourself mentally as well as physically. The physical is easy. Everyone knows you bring more money than you think you will need, just incase there is that hidden snack you weren’t expecting. The mental preparation is one of the tough parts. First as you are walking towards the machine you immediately get nervous as to what the machine had last time, what you’re hoping for this time, and the eventual what she is willing to give you. As soon as you arrive you’re hit with a rush. In my case as with other pathetic humans like me we call this adrenaline, it comes at big meals and during snack times.

Bright colors! Cheesy, Chocolaty, Sour, Salty!!!! So many choices! So you’re facing the opposition now. This is when things get strange. No matter what, when you go to a vending machine you are met with disappointment. “Ah fuck they only have Fritos! I’m in the mood for pizza.” Absurd but you still say it. Once you move on from wanting filet mignon, you start scanning your options. Do you attempt the double bag of M & M’s that are stuck? It could potentially be glorious. That is, if both fall. If not we will most definitely have a situation on our hands, because you’re not letting Joe Blow get the triple bagger if you paid for it. Carefully your eyes scan the top row down to the lower half. The one rule everyone knows from birth is you never get the Certs or the Wrigley’s. Every man woman and child on Earth knows you never get them and that they haven’t been replaced since that fine machine rolled of the production line in 1972.

So now you’ve scanned the machine and you have a new problem, your friends. Immediately the peanut gallery is on your back and the heat is on. The pressure has mounted, but we’re in luck! First round draft pick- Doritos! Top right corner, B123. It’s all yours, but again vending machines are crazy. Suddenly there is an extreme rush of nervousness all over your body in that 2 seconds before the food is selected. Everyone is so worried about fucking up the number, you double-triple-quadruple check the number of your Dipsy Doodles more than you checked the answers on your Physics final. I digress.

So you have made your decision. You’ve got the number punched in. Now the longest 3 and half seconds of your life are here. You have prepared yourself for this moment for the past five minuets. It’s time for your selection to fall. If all goes well it will. But on the off chance something goes awry, your day may be ruined.

KERPLUNK!! The Doritos landed safely and Mother vending machine has provided for you once again.

Now onto the soda machines, which is a whole different animal.

-tommy

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Tis the Season ONLY of Buckle-Hat People

So for some reason, and I have absolutely no idea what made me think of this, every year I'm reminded that some people try to jump the gun and start talking about Christmas when it's inappropriately early for the subject. Now don't get me wrong, I love Christmas. It is my favorite holiday of the year, and I look forward to it several times throughout the year.

(Now I know what question you're throwing around inside of that noggin of yours: "Didn't you just admit to commiting the very act you hate?" And the answer is no, because I merely think about it but never act on it. You may think about a certain opinion of a person and the things you may want to do to said person, but more times than not you will keep these thoughts at bay. Same thing goin on here.)

I, unlike so many, do not feel the need to celebrate Christmas particularly early. A few years ago, my friends and I made an agreement: no talk of Christmas until after Thanksgiving. No songs, no red & green, nothing. I've heard of people making similar agreements. Now that ABC Family has launched the "Countdown to the 25 days of Christmas," I feel that action needs to be taken on a much larger scale. They're counting down to a countdown! That's about as necessary as an Anne Frank joke on Yom Kippur.

Please give the pilgrim people their props. They actually got an entire species of people to celebrate their imminent demise. Agree with it or not, that's balsy. Give thanks, and please leave Christmas out of the discussion until Nov. 27.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Top Ten Christmas Songs Of All Time.

1. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)- John Lennon
2. Come On! Lets Boogey To The Elf Dance- Sufjan Stevens
3. White Christmas- Bing Crosby
4. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas- Hootie & The Blowfish
5. Wonderful Christmastime- Paul McCartney
6. Christmas in Hollis- Run-DMC
7. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town- James Taylor
8. Here Comes Santa Claus- Elvis Presley
9. Christmas Eve- Trans-Siberian Orchestra
10. The Christmas Song- Nat "King" Cole


I figured now was a good time to post this since we are getting close to the holidays.


Happy Listening.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Hello Common Room,

While doing my daily surfing the web routine, which along with coffee has become quite the daily addiction, I stumbled along this fine piece that I found quite enjoyable and stunningly accurate.

http://thepigskindoctors.com/2009/11/the-32-nfl-quarterbacks-and-their-major-league-pitching-equivalents/

Read and feel free to start any discussion in the comments section.




Wednesday, November 11, 2009

A Snacktacular Snack.


In an earlier post I alluded to Cheez-Its and how I used to take them for granted. This year I have learned to really appreciate Cheez-Its for what they really are, the most versatile snack of all time. They are the utility infielders of the snack world. I have enjoyed my fair share of Cheez-Its in my day, and not once was I unhappy with I just ate, no matter the time. I think Cheez-Its are the best food in the 7-11 food group (the foods one can eat at any hour of the day without it being weird). In fact, I think Cheez-Its not only are versatile because of when they can devoured, but also are versatile because of what they can be devoured with. From Okra to Salmon there is never a meal that can't be spiced up with tiny square crackers packed with cheese flavor. In fact I declare that Cheez-Its are the only food that can take an any ordinary food experience (e.g. a Jack Daniels Burger from T.G.I.F) and turn it into something beautiful. So, the next time you go to your local grocery store to buy something for dinner, remember to buy Cheez-Its. Because we all know what they say, perfection does exist, in conveniently sized red boxes.

Fuck Cheese Nips, I'm Out.

Shame, Shame, Shame

I am sitting on my couch with my roommates watching the 10PM news on Fox, which is a joke to begin with. No self respecting local news program (which is probably a paradox because there is no self respecting local news program, yes, were talking about you Ernie Anastos) should ever have an hour long program. Then again, I guess the joke is on me because I am the one sitting here watching it, and even worse, giving them recognition in my writing. That is besides the point, the thing that really bothered me is the little caption they put underneath peoples names to identify what they do or have done. I understand why they do this for lesser known people, so people who do not listen to the whole story can get a two word synopsis on why they are invading their living room via the television (or televisor as my portly spanish compatriate would say). Fox had a story about Peter Gabriel and his humanitarian work and labeled him a "Music Legend". I have no real issue with this, I would have been a little more comfortable labeling him "musician" or "humanitarian" since that is what the story was about. It is a bit overzealous of Fox, but whatever, it led to some fun banter between me and the roommates about what we could do with some other people's captions, such as Paris Hilton, Michael Jackson, etc. it got ridiculous, but it was fun, I recommend you try it as well. It wasn't until Chuck Norris came on that I became enraged. Let me state that I have nothing against Peter Gabriel, but Chuck Norris was simply labeled as "Actor." The man is a martial arts expert, insert quippy Chuck Norris fact here, and the best Fox could do was "Actor." Next time I hope for their sake that Fox rights this injustice.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.- Sorry I couldn't help myself

Holding open a door: don't do it

LET IT BE KNOWN-whomever holds the door for you when your 10 feet away from them or more-they are not doing you a favor. in fact THEY SUCK. First off they think that they're doing a godly charity act by holding this fucking door open for you. Secondly by them holding the door open for you while your like 5 minutes away from the door forces you to hurry up to accept the door opening. BUT its a fucking door!!! i can open a door!! you can open a door!! Those people suck and its been something i've been bickering about for a while now

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A not so epic stair-down

I’ve been working in an office building for a couple of months now. I’m on the top floor of an 8-floor building in the city (quite the skyscraper I know). The mail center in this particular building is on the 6th floor, and there’s another company that has offices on the 7th and 8th floors. Why am I giving you a detailed layout? Because I’ve noticed something about the other company that tends to bother me: they avoid the staircase like the plague. I admit that I have just as many (sometimes more) bouts of laziness than a lot of people, but when dropping off mail, I take the stairs. Why? It’s mainly because of the pseudo exercise I tell myself that I’m getting, but it also has to do with this growing epidemic. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve taken the elevator to the ground floor and had someone take the elevator from the 8th to 7th floor and then another person take it from the 7th to the 6th floor. The staircase leads to the same place as the elevators do, and it’s 2 flights of about 10 steps each! Once, I overheard one of their employees say he was going to the mail center, so I took the stairs at a regular pace and beat him by a suprising margin. I’ve been trying to figure it out since I started, and so far I have nothing. Every person I’ve seen on the elevator could physically handle the stairs without any difficulty. Is it possible that an entire company is vehemently against taking the stairs? Is it perhaps company policy? Either way I don’t get it. But if you’re taking the elevator less than two floors, then I suggest doing it alone.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Monday Night Live Blog

I go to Sacred Heart University and live in a suite with 11 other guys. There’s plenty in the world to write about but from time to time I’d like to write what’s directly in front of me. This is tonight’s live-blog.

7:27 First swig and Monday nights round of Edward Forty Hand’s in the Silly Suite has begun.


7:28 Andrew Soltish has claimed to have just had the ‘key’ burp already. This may be due to the fact that he ate a Pork sandwich 5 mins before the game began. Not a good sign.

7:33 Zach is working the one handed game and is far below the label on his right hand but has a full beer in his left. The rest of the crew is working the double fist. The double-fist is my own personal strategy.

7:37 Ryan’s radio show is on in the background and surprisingly enough he is playing a lot of upbeat music, which I feel is leading to the aggressive drinking.

7:40 Zach is about 3 sips away from finishing his first forty, pretty significant for a first timer. Go Zach!

7:43 Zach is well in the lead and is 40 oz’s from freedom.

7:44 While probably in last place, Mike is easily the most entertaining during this game. He has instant messaged, neatly disposed of dirty tissues and provided family entertainment for the whole suite (all with no hands, ma!).

7:46 During this slight lull in the action (due to a boring story) I would like to mention that of all of the five participants in this game except one, Christopher Gallagher, is abiding by standard forty hands rules. However no one disputes his ways due to the fact that Chris can’t drink beer. Chris plays forty hands with two monster and vodkas. He’s disgusting.

7:54 Chris is done with his mixed drinks and has alerted us he will be returning shortly after making another mixed drink.

7:57 Emmett is pronouncing suitemate names wrong. Soltish has announced he’s drunk and Zach forgot Emmett was playing. This is when the game gets fun.

8:00 People get so loud when they drink.

8:01 I am 2 Natty’s in and it kind of sucks I don’t have any forty’s cause my friends just got drunk in 15 mins.

8:02 I’ve noticed several labored burps beginning from the “players”

8:04 Zach (our ‘hands virgin) is two sips away from finishing. I’m amazed

8:05 Emmett has been telling me for 20 mins that nobody knows how close to done he is and he will beat everyone

8:08 Emmett is in the bathroom currently bent over the bowl. I’m very surprised at my roommate.

8:08 Zach is done!

8:10 Apparently after some serious burping and some deep breaths, Emmett is still in the game, without puking.

8:11 Trash talking is big on the Leboff/Biondi team. The gossip talking is huge on the Soltish/Burpmeister team.

8:14 Biondi just held the tissue as Leboff blew his nose. That’s not teamwork that’s roommate love.

8:16 Miraculously, Leboff straggled in the finish and let both Emmett and Soltish take the win. Despite the opposition’s victory, all is not lost. Zach the first timer has surprisingly won the overall game. Congrats.

8:22 The game is over and I have a room full of drunken suitemates. It took less than 45 mins of my Monday night. That was easy and well worth it.

‘til next time all.

tommy

White People Trade for Sammy Sosa







So apparently Sammy Sosa got his skin bleached. I call bull shit on that. My guess is that steroids had something to do with this. But anyways Sammy, welcome to the light side.

Amigo

Every Monday that there is an English Premier League match up. ESPN 2 airs the game live at 2:55 EDT. This has become somewhat of a ritual for me during my exciting period of unemployment. Roll out of bed around 12:30, so I don't have to deal with the kids my roommate Patti babysits. Don't get me wrong I love kids (not in a Michael Jackson way), but the one girl that Patti babysits for makes Macaulay Culkin in Uncle Buck seem like a mute. She asks more ridiculous and repetitive questions than I knew possible, but anyway I digress. From 12:30 on I watch Sports Center, and catch up on emails from the weekend. About a half an hour before game time, I decide on what my meal for the afternoon will be. Today, I decided on a regular slice and buffalo chicken slice from Miceli's. I love Gino's buffalo chicken slices, but Miceli's buffalo chicken is very underrated, especially for people who like more spice and less bleu cheese. This is where my story unfolds. I ordered my slices just like any other day; I paid, received my food, and began the trek back to my car. As I was leaving I saw a portly hispanic man walking in. I stepped aside to let him in, but at that same time he motioned for me to go through. I acquiesced to his polite offering and thanked him in kind. That is when he said it; "Ok amigo." I always enjoy when people are polite, but this was something more. I thought to myself "Dave, why was this more than just a polite exchange?" Then I understood, it wasn't just this man smiling and responding, but that he recognized me crossculturally. He could have just said something like "No problem," but he thought it prudent to speak to me in his native tongue. It was as if I acted as an ambassador to the people of some hispanic nation, and this man accepted my olive branch and exchanged one to me in kind. Now looking back on the experience I just wish I could have shared some facet of my culture with this man, such as buying him a pint, or perhaps politely tapping his backside with a hockey stick (a Lithuanian tradition that bears the equivalence of the American hug). If only all exchanges between cultures could be handled in such as way.

Hello Cyber-Expression

I've held the general opinion that blogs aren't an effective means of expression or an interesting form of conversing, but hell i'll try anything once (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zcze-UD1D4w). I guess my main problem with blogs is ive assumed the prevalence of rather in depth descriptions of personal experiences or opinions that end up overly introspective/conceited. Here in the the common room, as our cyperspace club is appropriately named, things sound a little more multi-dimensional with some giving and taking goin down. So, figured id begin by giving all you fans out there some of my recent dylan faves from youtube you hopefully havent seen, with first a great outtake from eat the document -- straight sexy
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G1isqzasUtk&feature=related

next percy's song which youve prolly heard joan baez sings on dont look back
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqW7W40DIOk

a nice 1965 era rocker with a great refrain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLeutT09Vnk&feature=related

and an alternate rare visions of johanna with a distinct feel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tI492mTwa0w&feature=related

one more-- bonus track "old hollywood" for those loving phrazes for the young
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iQWgF0UMEg

hopefully these links work and you haven't heard, and will enjoy, at least one of these.

Be Kind, Rewind!

So over the past 3 semesters I've realized that our generation loves computers. I think that every single class i've been to throughout my college career, at least one person is sitting in the back flipping through their new facebook photos from that "siqqq 3kegger" the past saturday night. Don't get me wrong, i have no problems with the internets or computers in general, but come on folks let's use them with a little more appropriately. The one aspect that i'm going to focus on though is specifically in class when notes are being taken. Call me old fashioned but i personally like to write my notes in a notebook. I don't know why, but i feel its just easier and more efficient. I don't care if you want to type your notes into word, that also is fine with me. The thing that gets me though, man, is when teachers give their class powerpoint presentations in advance, and people download them to their computer and print them out. First of all, those things are like 18 pages long. Who wants to waste 18 pages worth of ink and not to mention the 18 pages of paper. If you're going to sit on your laptop all class, why not just open the presentation on your computer? Besides the trees that you are killing, you look like an idiot. In my art history class, there's a girl who sits in front of me who every class decides to print out our powerpoint. On EVERY slide there is a large picture of some old Vase or Mosc along with facts about the piece of art. Think about how much ink is wasted there! Don't tell me things like, "oh it makes me more prepared for class" and "i learn so much better with it." No, you don't. I'm so sure walking to the print lab and standing on line to print out 30 pages and then throw them in a binder is going to help you get the material down pat. Why not just open it up on your laptop instead?? Would it kill you if you couldn't be on facebook for 45 minutes out of your day? It doesn't make you look more "studious" or anything like that, you just look dumb. So please stop. That is all


Straight Chilling.

My roommate is not sleeping here tonight, which means that I have this simple cubicle to myself for the evening. While it does suck that I won't be pillow-chatting tonight, it does mean I have a license to chill for the whole night.

This year I have a new found respect for chilling. Chilling goes beyond sitting on a coach and munching out to a movie, TV, or playing a video game. When one is totally chilling, they are in an existential dream. For when one is chilling or lounging out, he or she knows that from the moment they hit the point where they are totally comfortable with where there life is in that exact moment to the moment they decide to snap out of chill mode, nothing is going to bother them.

It is peculiar the types of things one can take for granted in life, I used to take chilling for granted (I also used to take Cheez-Its for granted but that is another story for another time). Now, after seeing so many people around me start to take themselves too seriously, I have realized that they have lost their license to chill and will regret spending so much of their allotted time being uptight and anxious. And, I do not want that to happen to me. So I am taking life slow these days, one chill session at a time.

summertime blues and cousin it

well, hello internet!! yea!!!! i am jay,mac and i/m currently residing in my comfortable quad here in wonderfully nested Scranton Pa. The unusual good weather of clear skies and 65 degree weather here today got me thinking summertime. not that that matters or anything. but it so happened that after my routine vap tonight i happened to pick up the most recent issue of Rolling Stone and i just happened to flip to a page about this psychedelic early 60s band Blue Cheer and that so happened to pull me to youtube to naturally get visual and audio of this band. my inquisitive quest did not disappoint. i fell upon this Eddie Cochran "Summertime blues" cover. Enjoy, reminisce, anticipate, whatever you will, this gets you into that summertime feel. oh yeah, cousin itt absolutely fucks shit up on drums.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Welcome to the Common Room

Dear All,


I am glad you have found your way to The Common Room. This is a place where absurdity meets elegance in such a matter that has never happened before. The Common Room is comprised of a team of writers whom I am sure you will all get to know and love very soon. As of right now The Common Room is still being furnished. It should be ready in the very near future. The Common Room is all about being yourself so I ask you to take off your coats and make yourself at home and enjoy the comfortability of The Common Room.


We Look Forward to Seeing You Soon,

The Common Room Staff

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