Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
(NOTE: These are not my picks for the best movie of the year, just what I think the Academy will pick.)
1. Up In The Air
2. Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire
4. An Education
5. The Hurt Locker
7. A Serious Man
8. Inglorious Basterds
Outside Looking In: 500 Days of Summer, A Single Man, District 9, The Road, Public Enemies, The Informant!, Where the Wild Things Are.
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Brittany Murphy's death was very tragic. While appearing in many films, most of which were quite popular, she mostly played a cute, fun girl who could sometimes be a little clueless (ha, get it?) Anyways, I was shocked to find out that Brittany Murphy died in her bathroom at the age of 32. Nothing has really be proven that she died of natural causes, but most doctors think she did. I don't know about you, but I loved this actress. She was great in a lot of my favorite movies and I find it very sad that she has passed. What is so ironic to me is that Brittany Murphy was supposed to be playing in the movie "Deadline". Well, she is playing in the movie because it is going to show, but a certain poster company called Redbox was supposed to release posters of the former actress lying lifeless in a bathtub. (Brittany died in her shower, in real life). The company Redbox is trying their best to take back all of the posters that were sent out all over in about 19,000 locations. Right around the new year is when mostly all of the posters will be removed from the locations, but as of now some are out there. It is very unfortunate, the death of Brittany, and I'm sure Murphy's family doesn't need any more reminders of it. Although her death is tragic, the people in charge of the new movie Deadline, are still going to show it. They feel like what would be a better tribute to Murphy than to air a movie, which is supposed to be one of her best. I for one, completely agree.
Anyways, on a lighter note, Merry Christmas!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Thursday, December 17, 2009
There have been rumors circulating around Hollywood that Conan O'Brien's disappointing transition into the 'Tonight Show' may lead to him losing his job as host of the late night talk show. According to Popeater.com, NBC reports a 52% loss in viewership in just one year. All parties are still denying the rumors, but Seinfeld has a great relationship with NBC and would definitely boost ratings.
Conan does have a few things that may help him out in the long run. The first being that David Letterman has seen a boost in ratings over the past year because of the Sarah Palin fiasco, as well as the blackmail controversy. The second being that Conan has only been on since June and he could still be figuring his new audience out. Another thing that may help Conan's case is that Conan got off to a very slow start as host of "Late Night" so he could just be a slow starter. He could also argue that giving Jay Leno a show at 10 PM is a ratings killer for him, by giving Leno a show, NBC shot itself in the foot a little bit because all of Leno's old viewers can just tune in a little earlier and don't need to stay up for their late night fix.
It will be very interesting to see how this plays out.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
12. Team America World Police (2004)- A movie with horribly made puppets should never crack a list like this right? Wrong. Trey Parker and Matt Stone deliver one of the funniest movies of the decade with this satire on America and the rest of the world. When a movie has a song like, America, Fuck Yeah! you know the movie is going to be good.
11. There Will Be Blood (2007)- Daniel Day-Lewis turns in what could have been the best performance of his career in P.T. Anderson's adaptation of Upton Sinclair's novel "Oil." Paul Dano also does a great job in the film. "I drink your milkshake!"
10. Gran Torino (2008)- It had some awkward moments, it had some funny moments, and it certainly had some touching moments. Clint Eastwood turns in a great performance and delivered as a director in this movie. The movie captured the plight immigrants in America even today. It also tackles the problem of getting old, one Eastwood knows personally now, and does a great job making the audience sympathize with Eastwood's character even when he is using every racial slur known to man.
9. Once (2007)- Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova star in this low-key, low-budget musically inspired film. The movie was so low key that the two main character's names were Guy and Girl. The movie, shot in Ireland for pretty much nothing, turned into one of the cinderella stories in Hollywood this decade. The movie won an Oscar for Best Original Song and gained the two musicians uncharted popularity.
8. Ratatouille (2007)- Pixar is a machine. Everything they pump out is usually critically acclaimed, publicly admired, and pretty much worshipped. Ratatouille was just that and then some. A great movie for kids, adults, and rodents alike it was well made, well written, and visually stunning. If the Oscars were open to 10 Best Picture Nominations in 2007, Ratatouille would have been nominated for sure.
7. The Dark Knight (2008)-Chris Nolan's second Batman movie was one of the best movies of the decade for several reasons. First and foremost, the job turned in by a star studded cast. From Ledger to Caine to Oldman to Freeman, it was one of the best acted movies of the decade. Next, the effects, from the sound to the visuals were nearly perfect. The movie was given great reviews and the public obviously loved it, landing it on our list.
6. The Visitor (2008)- This indie film is one of the best movies that nobody has heard of. Richard Jenkins turned in the best performance of his career and the rest of the movie followed suit by being awesome. Focused around the Illegal Immigration debate, the movie didn't let politics get in its way of being one of the best movies of the decade.
5. No Country For Old Men (2007)- The Coen Brothers are amazing. Anything they touch seems to turn into Oscar gold. Their adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's "No Country for Old Men" was no different. The movie moved so slow, which added to the suspense and its lack of a score or really any music at all, made it uncomfortable to watch alone. The scene in the gas station with the coin flip is one of the most haunting scenes I have ever seen. The movie was so well acted I am now afraid of Javier Bardem. Josh Brolin, Woody Harrelson, and Tommy Lee Jones also turned in impressive performances.
4. The Lord of The Rings Trilogy (2001-2003)- Peter Jackson left no stone unturned in his adaptation of J.R.R Tolkien's masterpiece. His use of extras, CGI, and other visual effects led these movies to Oscar domination in the early millennium. Viggo Mortensen was brilliant throughout the trilogy.
3. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004)- Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet star in one of the most creative love stories ever told. The tagline, "I already forget how I used to feel about you," is one of the best taglines I've ever read. The movie touches nearly every emotion and Charlie Kaufman's screenplay is superb.
2. Gangs of New York (2002)- When you put Martin Scorsese and Daniel Day-Lewis together it becomes unfair. Throw in a little DiCaprio here and some Cameron Diaz there and you have yourself the second best movie of the decade. During the Civil War, the country was in utter turmoil. This movie really gave you the sense of how hard it was during the time. The sets, the effects, and the writing were all incredible. All the actors did a great job, and obviously Scorsese came through.
1. The Departed (2006)- Martin Scorsese can make a movie with ants. With Leonardo DiCaprio, Mark Wahlberg, Jack Nicholson, Martin Sheen, and Matt Damon (not to mention the always breathtaking Anthony Anderson) Martin Scorsese can make a timeless classic, which is exactly what he did with The Departed.
It's sad to think that one of my BEST friends in this world will be leaving after this semester to go home- Kassy. She always lit up the room with adorable smile- or mean/drunken smirk she would give random people in the room. (I know this sounds like an obituary, but I don't care) Kass has this remarkable personality that I have never seen in another person before. She can turn my day from sucking so hard to making me roll around on the floor laughing, in a matter of seconds- there's not too many people in the world that can do that to me, haha. I've met a number of great people here at SHU, but when I met Kassy on the night before my birthday last year, it's changed my life since then. She's done me many favors as I have done for her too, but she would drop anything in a second if I needed help. Although I have taken care of her drunken ass many nights- I loved every second of it, as well as recorded every second of it (I would never show anyone though- it's only for us to laugh at). Some favorite moments you ask? Well..
Her countless nights on the dog bed because he bed was bunked too high for her drunk ass to climb up on and late night trips to Merrit (me driving, and Matt riding shotgun) with Kass singing obnoxiously loud in the back, then suddenly soundless- face planted in the seat. Day parties in the silly suite playing knee hockey and random nights celebrating that our exams were over for the week (more excuses to get drunk). Mike driving Soltisha's car with me and Kass in the back going to Mcdonalds and blasting Blink182. I will miss the giant sweatshirts she has from her brother, because it was mostly what I chose to wear everyday. Recording obnoxious videos of us mouthing the words to Queen and then posting it all over facebook for the world to see. Bagel trips in the morning to get not one, but two bagels just because we thought the bagels were too small (validating our fatness). Me making egg and cheeses on Thursday mornings for us. Playing pong in eckart. Dave Matthews band concert and me dying in the car when my Dad picked us up, but still didn't tell my mom that I yacked all over her front seat. Slightly Stoopid concert and me dying on the dirt and throwing up in Jared's car, (I don't mix well with concerts, baaai concerts). - side note- everytime I see the word concert, I think concerta... is that bad? I'll miss cakefarts and movie nights. Basically it's gonna be really hard to see Kass go, but we know she'll be back to visit because working in the bowling alley is gunna get old real fast. (just kidding, love u) You mean a lot to us Kass, cheers to you, dad :)
Kiefer and Rob- I'll miss you guys a lot. I'm going to leave this one open ended because I'm sure one of your fellow silly suiters will want to write something for you guys. Rob- I will miss your mojo (and I mean that in both terms). Day 1 in Seton, everyone was curious as to WHO Rob Coloney was, his 25,000 songs amazed everyone in our building. He has an amazing singing voice and an enormous TV that I'm sure everyone will miss. I will miss the neatness of his room and his hot dad. I will miss his radio show- but I won't miss his loving of the Yankees or any New York sports for that matter, :). Rob, you better visit soon. QUEEFER- I'll miss your love for Boston and that we both love Will Wilson and Twaaaanks. We'll miss your nickname- QUEEFER and we'll miss your smile, because if I do say- it's the best one in the world. I'll personally miss of your awesome tattoos and I'll miss that we both love that wonderful 4 letter word that leads to trails behind Jhill or a golf course?
You guys are awesome, never change and visit lots!
CHEERS TO YOU DADS :) GOOD LUCK.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
PARMA, Ohio – Police near Cleveland say a man dressed as Santa Claus tried to kidnap a 12-year-old girl walking to school.
Anthony Russo was later arrested wearing the Santa suit, complete with pillow and beard, and carrying a sack, a large box of candy canes and a unicycle with Christmas decorations.
Parma Police Capt. Robert DeSimone says the 46-year-old Russo, of Brook Park, is jailed pending charges expected to be filed Thursday.
DeSimone says Russo was hiding in bushes Wednesday in costume and jumped out at the girl. He says Russo tried to get the girl into the bushes, but she walked away. DeSimone says the man followed the girl and grabbed her arm before she entered a store and reported the encounter to a worker.
Police say Russo was arrested on a transit bus.
Okay, lets just ignore the fact this guy dressed as Santa, hid in the bushes, and tried to kid nap a girl. What I want to focus on instead is the fact that this guy was fucking riding around on a unicycle. This man tried to kidnap someone on a unicycle. How the fuck is that supposed to work? Where was he going to put her after he completed the kidnapping? His lap? The Sack? If this girl did in fact get kidnapped, I would not be upset, just really impressed that someone kidnapped someone else on a unicycle.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Because that video was so awful, here is a better one to put a smile back on your face.
Monday, November 30, 2009
5:01 PM- The annoying, smarty pants girl Ruth is talking to Professor Kardys, AGAIN. She is always talking to him before class and she is also always wearing a blue fleece vest with tight sweatpants, EW. "Okay, let's start class."- Professor Kardys. she finally sits down.
5:02 PM- roll call. Approximately 15 girls aren’t here. And because it’s a nursing class, there are only 2 boys and about 30 girls in the class. He's handing out our graded exams- get pummmmppped.
5:03 PM- 82- YES!
5:04 PM- He's chewing gum, again. In EVERY class he chews gum, but it's not cool. I'm actually affraid to ask him questions after class because white shit gathers in the corners of his lips. EW.
5:05 PM- "I just want to get an idea, how many people are actually taking notes during this class?" -Professor Kardys. 2 people raise their hands (out of 25)... "Okay.. let's begin".
5:08 PM- He keeps staring at me so I look up at the powerpoint and pretend to be taking down the notes in a word document. (a specialty of mine).
5:09 PM- He takes a drink of water from his thermos, hopefully to remove the white slime on his mouth.
5:10 PM- We've covered one slide about pathogens and keeps asking "Does anyone need more time?", no answer.
5:11 PM- Kardys is staring at the powerpoint... and is still not acknowledging this one girl who has had her hand raised for about 2 minutes. We're not in kindergarten sweetie if you need to use the bathroom, just get up.
5:12 PM- "Does anyone need more time?"- Kardys
5:13 PM- 15 girls have their computers. 8 are on facebook, 3 are on blackboard (not for this class), 1 is playing a motorcycle game, 1 is farming, 1 is studying notes for another class, and 1 is actually taking notes.
5:15 PM- Kardys just reached up to fix the projector and his briefs just popped out, disgusting.
5:17 PM- this class sucks.
5:18 PM- Kardys just said vagina, YES!, now I will take some notes.
5:20 PM- Why do I smell raw eggs? This is a lecture classroom, no one should be smelling raw eggs. I'm scared.
5:22 PM- The lights are now on in the classroom to copy stuff off the board... not one person is even looking at it.
5:23 PM- I ask myself- if this man wants to teach us anything, then why is he just reading right off the powerpoint, that we already have on our computers. Stupid, I should just get up there and teach.
5:24 PM- Some girl just strolled into class with a coffee and a sandwich. Bitch you're 24 minutes late, who do you think you are?
5:25 PM- All 15 girl are now on facebook, (not counting me).
5:26 PM- Ruth is now staring at Kardys and nodding. Yuck, stop it. I hate people.
5:28 PM- I just noticed how funny Kardys' hair is today. I just giggled a little and 5 girls turned around and stared at me. WHAT! It's not like I interupted your note taking!
5:29 PM- If one more person coughs I swear to God.
5:30 PM- Someone decides to go to the bathroom, a conversation is taking place in the back corner about going to the liquor store, and the girl in front of me is taking a nap.
5:31 PM- Lights are back on for more notes... everyone is still on facebook.
5:32 PM- Ruth asks a question and everyone is whispering to their friends how annoying she is.
5:33 PM- Kardys' voice is just like Forrest Gump's. strange.
5:34 PM- 4 people are texting... and the girl who went to the bathroom, still isn't back.
5:36 PM- the girl next to me has long fake nails, she also has a Mac, the sound of her typing- is OBNOXIOUS.
5:37 PM- Bathroom girl arrives!
5:38 PM- Someone else decides to take a stroll to the bathroom.
5:39 PM- The boy sitting 2 rows up is playing with the lever on his chair.
5:40 PM- He pulled the one that lowers you, HAHAHAHAHAHA he just slammed the seat all the way down to the floor. loser.
5:41 PM- The girl the row diagonally has been shuffling around in her bag for about 5 minutes now looking for something.
5:42 PM- OH, just her credit card to purchase some Juicy Couture flats online. I hate rich bitches.
5:43 PM- Awkward (turtle) silene... minus fingers typing.
5:44 PM- We've already learned about phagocytosis 30 times, why on earth is it going to the topic of our final? whatever.
5:45 PM- Facebook count- 10.
5:46 PM- Ruth just blew her nose. And yes, she's one of the people who blow their nose and then look at the tissue afterwards. gross.
5:47 PM- "Does anyone need more time?"
5:49 PM- My stomach just growled loudly because I'm hungry. The girl next to me turned and stares at my stomach.
5:50 PM- The girl in front of me is packing her backpack and closing her computer. Did I miss something?
5:51 PM- Nope, didn't miss anything... she just decided to leave. Lucky.
5:52 PM- Never Let Monkeys Eat Bananas - Neutrophils, Lymphocytes, Monocytes, Eocinophils, Basophils. I love acronyms.
5:55 PM- Random Things in plain sight (thanks mike)
about 17 blackberrys
5:57 PM- "Does anyone need more time?" Kardys, your entire class is in the middle of a facebook frenzy, they don't have time for notes.
6:00 PM- text from Mike: "Just made my cousin cry in Mariotennis, Kids soft" ... asshole.
6:01 PM- 14 MINUTES TIL FREEDOM.
6:02 PM- one girl is braiding her hair, I'm intrigued.
6:03 PM- this coughing thing has gone beyond annoying. Maybe if more than half of the SHU population didn't smoke, we wouldn't have this problem. (NEWSFLASH- cigarettes kill.)
6:05 PM- LAST SLIDE. class is almost over. Everyone's still on facebook and the only thing I remember from this class is the word- vagina. success!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
- Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire
These three very different films are my three locks for nomination for very different reasons. There are some experts who are saying Precious is the best acted film of the year. Oscar worthy performances are turned in by Mo'Nique (not kidding), Mariah Carey (still not kidding), and newcomer Gabourey Sidibe. The movie did surprisingly well at the box office and was pushed (no pun intended) by both Oprah and Tyler Perry (those two together are the equivalent of eleventeen Barack Obamas).
Up is an interesting case. If it is in the category for Best Picture, does that mean it automatically wins Best Animated? That point aside, Up is most definitely going to be nominated but will have a tough time winning. No animated feature has ever won, and only one other, Beauty and the Beast in 1991, has ever been nominated for best picture. One could definitely argue that animated films will benefit the most from the expansion of the number of nominated films.
Avatar, James Cameron's $300 million dollar movie, is the third and final film that I consider to be a lock for Best Picture. Since it has not been released yet, and the previews are not revealing much it is leaving the general public in a state of confusion. However, it did cost $300 million dollars to make and it is James Cameron, that is enough for me to believe it will be there.
-Up In The Air
-A Serious Man
-The Lovely Bones
-The Hurt Locker
This category has a ton of big names, which could lead to big buzz.
Up In The Air has George Clooney and everyone's new favorite director Jason Reitman.
A Serious Man has the Coen Brothers.
The Lovely Bones is a Peter Jackson film.
Invictus is Eastwood+Damon+Freeman.
And of course Inglorious Basterds has Tarantino and Pitt (although Christoph Waltz is the best part of the movie).
The more intriguing films are the two that lack star power. First we will look at An Education.
An Education is a movie that nobody will talk about much in the mainstream media, but will certainly garner a lot of attention when it comes time for the Oscars. The movie left people amazed at both The Sundance and Toronto Film Festivals.
The Hurt Locker is the movie that should have had the most impact of any release this summer due to the fact that it is a movie about a few soldiers in Iraq. However, the best part of the movie is that it did not inspire any political rhetoric what so ever. Director Kathryn Bigelow (Point Break) did not make the movie about the war, no she made the movie about war and about the people in war. The movie was nearly perfect, save for one random, gratuitous scene.
Dark Horse Candidates
-500 Days of Summer
I picked these four movies either because I really liked them or because I have not heard much about them other than that they are supposed to be very well made, well acted films. In the case of both Public Enemies and 500 Days of Summer, I picked them because these are two of the better movies I saw thus far this year. 500 Days was a breath of fresh air for Romantic Comedy fans. Public Enemies was just a well made movies. It captured the feeling of the time, and made you fall in love with a murderous villain. The Road and Nine, on the other hand are supposed to be very, very good movies. Much is being made about Viggo Mortensen's performance in The Road. It is another Cormac McCarthy novel being adapted, as was No Country for Old Men, the winner in 2007. Nine is a Rob Marshall film. Why is that important? It isn't really except for the fact that he is rumored to be directing the fourth installment of Pirates of the Caribbean. Also, Daniel Day-Lewis stars in Nine. Which means that no matter what, it will get a lot of buzz.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Monday, November 23, 2009
P.S. On a more masculine note make sure to check out the trailers for the new Scorcese movie that Ruffalo costars in alongside Leonardo DiCaprio, Shutter Island.
Honestly, it probably rocks. But I do believe he must be a frustrated individual, as is evidenced by his outburst on the set of Terminator Salvation, for he is a good actor but he gets out-acted in every movie. So without further ado, here is the Christian Bale Scale.
Bale's Role: Jack 'Cowboy' Kelly
Out-Actor: Dean Portman
Verdict: Bale is pretty awesome in Newsies. But Dean Portman is a bash brother. Sorry Chris.
Bale's Role: Thomas, the englishman who kills that indian who likes Pocahontas
Out-Actor: The Fuhrer Himself, Mel Gibson
Verdict: This was a tough call but Adolf, er, Mel does a good job singing all those songs.
Bale's Role: Walter Wade Jr.
Out-Actor: Samuel L. Jackson
Verdict: No explanation necessary, "L" has Bale by leaps and bounds in both life and on set.
Movie: Batman Begins
Bale's Role: Batman
Out-Actor: Michael Caine and Gary Oldman
Verdict: This one was the closest one. Bale does a real good job in this movie. However, Oldman and Caine do a better job in this underrated film.
Movie: The New World
NOTE- This movie sucked. It could possibly be the worst movie I have ever seen. It made Big Fat Liar look like an Oscar winner.
Movie: 3:10 To Yuma
Bale's Role: Dan Evans
Out-Actor: Russell Crowe
Verdict: Gritty, gutty Western. The two main characters are cowboys and both are portrayed by foreigners. Oddly enough, they both sell it, Crowe wins on sheer guts.
Movie: The Dark Knight
Bale's Role: Batman
Out-Actor: Heath Ledger, Michael Caine, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart
Verdict: Everyone made such a big deal about the job Heath Ledger did as the joker, that people sometimes forget how good the rest of the cast was. Bale was the sixth best actor in this movie and he still did a great job.
Movie: Public Enemies
Bale's Role: Melvin Purvis
Out-Actor: Johnny Depp
Verdict: This one was not even close. Johnny Depp kills it in Public Enemies.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
I'm going to start off saying that I do not read Barstool. I did not even know such a website existed until about a month and a half ago. I was told about the article posted above, so I figured I'd check it out. Well let me tell you Mr. "KFC" (the author), you suck. Fuck you. Now that's out of the way, I'd like to discuss why KFC and that blog suck. First of all bro, just because Jack Johnson and OAR, your brogods, won't play in a park for free doesn't mean the concerts are bad. Who doesn't like free music? Free live music? Shit man, its free live music OUTDOORS?! What's better than seeing a free show outside on a beautiful summer day? Not much. Even Senator Chuck Schumer is backing up the hipsters claiming that "the concerts would be back on the waterfront in 2010." So basically, this guy is shitting on probably one of the coolest summer events in the city just because he doesn't know any of the bands that are playing and because he hates "hipsters". "I dunno I've never heard shit about Pool Parties..." everyone knows if he did know about it, he would in fact have probably gone and had a ball if he wasn't such an ignorant prick. Between Dirty Projectors, Grizzly Bear, Girl Talk, Fucked Up and Deerhunter all playing this past summer, how can anyone complain about such a diverse musical lineup. Sorry, but just because the people in those bands are long haired, bearded men who wear slim fitting jeans and t-shirts, does not mean they're "douches". This guy probably sat at his computer and wrote this article sitting in his uggs with his northface zippered up and his lacrosse stick in hand. People like that shouldn't be allowed to post things on the internet.
Vending machines man. Vending machines. The things vending machines put a man through are almost unexplainable. That’s why I come to this blog once again, to give my meek attempt at explaining one of the world’s greatest inventions.
There is a lot that goes into a trip to the local vending machine. First you must prepare yourself mentally as well as physically. The physical is easy. Everyone knows you bring more money than you think you will need, just incase there is that hidden snack you weren’t expecting. The mental preparation is one of the tough parts. First as you are walking towards the machine you immediately get nervous as to what the machine had last time, what you’re hoping for this time, and the eventual what she is willing to give you. As soon as you arrive you’re hit with a rush. In my case as with other pathetic humans like me we call this adrenaline, it comes at big meals and during snack times.
Bright colors! Cheesy, Chocolaty, Sour, Salty!!!! So many choices! So you’re facing the opposition now. This is when things get strange. No matter what, when you go to a vending machine you are met with disappointment. “Ah fuck they only have Fritos! I’m in the mood for pizza.” Absurd but you still say it. Once you move on from wanting filet mignon, you start scanning your options. Do you attempt the double bag of M & M’s that are stuck? It could potentially be glorious. That is, if both fall. If not we will most definitely have a situation on our hands, because you’re not letting Joe Blow get the triple bagger if you paid for it. Carefully your eyes scan the top row down to the lower half. The one rule everyone knows from birth is you never get the Certs or the Wrigley’s. Every man woman and child on Earth knows you never get them and that they haven’t been replaced since that fine machine rolled of the production line in 1972.
So now you’ve scanned the machine and you have a new problem, your friends. Immediately the peanut gallery is on your back and the heat is on. The pressure has mounted, but we’re in luck! First round draft pick- Doritos! Top right corner, B123. It’s all yours, but again vending machines are crazy. Suddenly there is an extreme rush of nervousness all over your body in that 2 seconds before the food is selected. Everyone is so worried about fucking up the number, you double-triple-quadruple check the number of your Dipsy Doodles more than you checked the answers on your Physics final. I digress.
So you have made your decision. You’ve got the number punched in. Now the longest 3 and half seconds of your life are here. You have prepared yourself for this moment for the past five minuets. It’s time for your selection to fall. If all goes well it will. But on the off chance something goes awry, your day may be ruined.
KERPLUNK!! The Doritos landed safely and Mother vending machine has provided for you once again.
Now onto the soda machines, which is a whole different animal.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
(Now I know what question you're throwing around inside of that noggin of yours: "Didn't you just admit to commiting the very act you hate?" And the answer is no, because I merely think about it but never act on it. You may think about a certain opinion of a person and the things you may want to do to said person, but more times than not you will keep these thoughts at bay. Same thing goin on here.)
I, unlike so many, do not feel the need to celebrate Christmas particularly early. A few years ago, my friends and I made an agreement: no talk of Christmas until after Thanksgiving. No songs, no red & green, nothing. I've heard of people making similar agreements. Now that ABC Family has launched the "Countdown to the 25 days of Christmas," I feel that action needs to be taken on a much larger scale. They're counting down to a countdown! That's about as necessary as an Anne Frank joke on Yom Kippur.
Please give the pilgrim people their props. They actually got an entire species of people to celebrate their imminent demise. Agree with it or not, that's balsy. Give thanks, and please leave Christmas out of the discussion until Nov. 27.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
2. Come On! Lets Boogey To The Elf Dance- Sufjan Stevens
3. White Christmas- Bing Crosby
4. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas- Hootie & The Blowfish
5. Wonderful Christmastime- Paul McCartney
6. Christmas in Hollis- Run-DMC
7. Santa Claus Is Coming To Town- James Taylor
8. Here Comes Santa Claus- Elvis Presley
9. Christmas Eve- Trans-Siberian Orchestra
10. The Christmas Song- Nat "King" Cole
I figured now was a good time to post this since we are getting close to the holidays.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
In an earlier post I alluded to Cheez-Its and how I used to take them for granted. This year I have learned to really appreciate Cheez-Its for what they really are, the most versatile snack of all time. They are the utility infielders of the snack world. I have enjoyed my fair share of Cheez-Its in my day, and not once was I unhappy with I just ate, no matter the time. I think Cheez-Its are the best food in the 7-11 food group (the foods one can eat at any hour of the day without it being weird). In fact, I think Cheez-Its not only are versatile because of when they can devoured, but also are versatile because of what they can be devoured with. From Okra to Salmon there is never a meal that can't be spiced up with tiny square crackers packed with cheese flavor. In fact I declare that Cheez-Its are the only food that can take an any ordinary food experience (e.g. a Jack Daniels Burger from T.G.I.F) and turn it into something beautiful. So, the next time you go to your local grocery store to buy something for dinner, remember to buy Cheez-Its. Because we all know what they say, perfection does exist, in conveniently sized red boxes.
Fuck Cheese Nips, I'm Out.
Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.- Sorry I couldn't help myself
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
I go to Sacred Heart University and live in a suite with 11 other guys. There’s plenty in the world to write about but from time to time I’d like to write what’s directly in front of me. This is tonight’s live-blog.
7:27 First swig and Monday nights round of Edward Forty Hand’s in the Silly Suite has begun.
7:27 First swig and Monday nights round of Edward Forty Hand’s in the Silly Suite has begun.
7:28 Andrew Soltish has claimed to have just had the ‘key’ burp already. This may be due to the fact that he ate a Pork sandwich 5 mins before the game began. Not a good sign.
7:28 Andrew Soltish has claimed to have just had the ‘key’ burp already. This may be due to the fact that he ate a Pork sandwich 5 mins before the game began. Not a good sign.
7:33 Zach is working the one handed game and is far below the label on his right hand but has a full beer in his left. The rest of the crew is working the double fist. The double-fist is my own personal strategy.
7:37 Ryan’s radio show is on in the background and surprisingly enough he is playing a lot of upbeat music, which I feel is leading to the aggressive drinking.
7:40 Zach is about 3 sips away from finishing his first forty, pretty significant for a first timer. Go Zach!
7:43 Zach is well in the lead and is 40 oz’s from freedom.
7:44 While probably in last place, Mike is easily the most entertaining during this game. He has instant messaged, neatly disposed of dirty tissues and provided family entertainment for the whole suite (all with no hands, ma!).
7:46 During this slight lull in the action (due to a boring story) I would like to mention that of all of the five participants in this game except one, Christopher Gallagher, is abiding by standard forty hands rules. However no one disputes his ways due to the fact that Chris can’t drink beer. Chris plays forty hands with two monster and vodkas. He’s disgusting.
7:54 Chris is done with his mixed drinks and has alerted us he will be returning shortly after making another mixed drink.
7:57 Emmett is pronouncing suitemate names wrong. Soltish has announced he’s drunk and Zach forgot Emmett was playing. This is when the game gets fun.
8:00 People get so loud when they drink.
8:01 I am 2 Natty’s in and it kind of sucks I don’t have any forty’s cause my friends just got drunk in 15 mins.
8:02 I’ve noticed several labored burps beginning from the “players”
8:04 Zach (our ‘hands virgin) is two sips away from finishing. I’m amazed
8:05 Emmett has been telling me for 20 mins that nobody knows how close to done he is and he will beat everyone
8:08 Emmett is in the bathroom currently bent over the bowl. I’m very surprised at my roommate.
8:08 Zach is done!
8:10 Apparently after some serious burping and some deep breaths, Emmett is still in the game, without puking.
8:11 Trash talking is big on the Leboff/Biondi team. The gossip talking is huge on the Soltish/Burpmeister team.
8:14 Biondi just held the tissue as Leboff blew his nose. That’s not teamwork that’s roommate love.
8:16 Miraculously, Leboff straggled in the finish and let both Emmett and Soltish take the win. Despite the opposition’s victory, all is not lost. Zach the first timer has surprisingly won the overall game. Congrats.
8:22 The game is over and I have a room full of drunken suitemates. It took less than 45 mins of my Monday night. That was easy and well worth it.
‘til next time all.
So over the past 3 semesters I've realized that our generation loves computers. I think that every single class i've been to throughout my college career, at least one person is sitting in the back flipping through their new facebook photos from that "siqqq 3kegger" the past saturday night. Don't get me wrong, i have no problems with the internets or computers in general, but come on folks let's use them with a little more appropriately. The one aspect that i'm going to focus on though is specifically in class when notes are being taken. Call me old fashioned but i personally like to write my notes in a notebook. I don't know why, but i feel its just easier and more efficient. I don't care if you want to type your notes into word, that also is fine with me. The thing that gets me though, man, is when teachers give their class powerpoint presentations in advance, and people download them to their computer and print them out. First of all, those things are like 18 pages long. Who wants to waste 18 pages worth of ink and not to mention the 18 pages of paper. If you're going to sit on your laptop all class, why not just open the presentation on your computer? Besides the trees that you are killing, you look like an idiot. In my art history class, there's a girl who sits in front of me who every class decides to print out our powerpoint. On EVERY slide there is a large picture of some old Vase or Mosc along with facts about the piece of art. Think about how much ink is wasted there! Don't tell me things like, "oh it makes me more prepared for class" and "i learn so much better with it." No, you don't. I'm so sure walking to the print lab and standing on line to print out 30 pages and then throw them in a binder is going to help you get the material down pat. Why not just open it up on your laptop instead?? Would it kill you if you couldn't be on facebook for 45 minutes out of your day? It doesn't make you look more "studious" or anything like that, you just look dumb. So please stop. That is all
This year I have a new found respect for chilling. Chilling goes beyond sitting on a coach and munching out to a movie, TV, or playing a video game. When one is totally chilling, they are in an existential dream. For when one is chilling or lounging out, he or she knows that from the moment they hit the point where they are totally comfortable with where there life is in that exact moment to the moment they decide to snap out of chill mode, nothing is going to bother them.
It is peculiar the types of things one can take for granted in life, I used to take chilling for granted (I also used to take Cheez-Its for granted but that is another story for another time). Now, after seeing so many people around me start to take themselves too seriously, I have realized that they have lost their license to chill and will regret spending so much of their allotted time being uptight and anxious. And, I do not want that to happen to me. So I am taking life slow these days, one chill session at a time.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I am glad you have found your way to The Common Room. This is a place where absurdity meets elegance in such a matter that has never happened before. The Common Room is comprised of a team of writers whom I am sure you will all get to know and love very soon. As of right now The Common Room is still being furnished. It should be ready in the very near future. The Common Room is all about being yourself so I ask you to take off your coats and make yourself at home and enjoy the comfortability of The Common Room.
We Look Forward to Seeing You Soon,
The Common Room Staff